No matter how we tried, we
couldn't be repaired.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
15 Texts I Never Sent...
(I can't claim this one. It was from a post I saw on Tumblr)
It's been 15 months and I still miss you like a limb.
I didn't know my bones could ache until I met you.
You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember?
I bought a book a poetry and you asked why I didn't read something more interesting.
I could feel my inside splinter.
You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty.
When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you.
It's 3AM and this alcohol tastes like you.
I saw you staring at me in the store today. I smiled and you didn't smile back.
I almost cried.
The girl who sits next to me in class smells like you.
I miss you.
I've never had so many bad nights.
Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet.
Strangers who have never met either of us think you're cruel...
...they tell me if they ever had the honor of loving me
they'd never give upon me and you're insane
for walking away.
They think it is beautiful how I am broken.
I don't think they understand.
You used to tell me I was beautiful.
I tried saying it in the mirror the other day,
but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
We didn't last forever, but oh God, we could have.
We could have...
It's been 15 months and I still miss you like a limb.
I didn't know my bones could ache until I met you.
You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember?
I bought a book a poetry and you asked why I didn't read something more interesting.
I could feel my inside splinter.
You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty.
When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you.
It's 3AM and this alcohol tastes like you.
I saw you staring at me in the store today. I smiled and you didn't smile back.
I almost cried.
The girl who sits next to me in class smells like you.
I miss you.
I've never had so many bad nights.
Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet.
Strangers who have never met either of us think you're cruel...
...they tell me if they ever had the honor of loving me
they'd never give upon me and you're insane
for walking away.
They think it is beautiful how I am broken.
I don't think they understand.
You used to tell me I was beautiful.
I tried saying it in the mirror the other day,
but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
We didn't last forever, but oh God, we could have.
We could have...
Friday, January 31, 2014
Beneath the Surface: 11 Things Women Do That Men Find Attractive
Huffington Post: Women recently released a list of 11 things that men do, that women find attractive. As a man who is always trying to grow my appeal to the opposite sex, this immediately interested me, so I questioned my Twitter followers about the validity of some of the things on the list. This encouraged further conversation about the nonsexual things that men do, that women found attractive.
In an attempt at reciprocation, I also questioned the men on my timeline about the nonsexual things that women do, that men find attractive. For those of you that do follow me on Twitter, you know that I'm trying to make 2014 all about positivity. In an attempt to feed into that, my goal was to create 11 things that women do, that men find attractive. After scouring, reading, and rereading all of the replies I got yesterday (which were in the hundreds, and continued into today), I have narrowed all of the answers down to the best and most popular 11.
Without further ado...
11 Things that Women Do That Men Find Attractive
11.) Concentrate: This ranged from watching a woman do homework/study to watching her put on makeup in the mirror. Watching a woman use her brain is endearing and sexy.
10.) Exercise: Knowing a woman not only cares about her personal appearance, but her overall health is important to men. We all know men are visual creatures. A woman going the extra mile to maintain her appearance definitely catches a man's attention. Also, it's fun to watch!
8.) Listen: As men, we aren't especially prone to talk about our personal feelings/thoughts on frequent occasion. Having a woman who knows when to listen to us without objecting or challenging is important. If we know you're listening, we're more likely to share. Listening also shows the woman has interest in not only what we have to say, but the things we take interest in.
7.) Get Dressed (Up): This is especially endearing because a part of us feels like you're going the extra mile to look good for us men. There's nothing like watching a woman go through each meticulous step getting dressed up to make sure she looks absolutely perfect and swoon-worthy.
5.) Encourage & Support: For many men, this is number one. Men are expected to always exhibit strength and control. If there's one place we need to know we can be soft, it's with the woman in our lives. We're always expected to exhibit confidence to the world, so knowing we have someone in our corner who KNOWS we can do anything, and pushes us correctly to achieve is paramount.
3.) Read: As one tweeter said, there is nothing sexier than a woman with a book in her hand. Reading broadens your horizons, improves your spelling & grammar, informs, and teaches. Reading can be a show of intelligence, and it's definitely one that men notice.
and finally ...
1.) Laugh/Smile: This was by far the most offered response from the fellas on Twitter. Ladies, your smiles can light up a room, drastically improve a mood, and make everything in your man's world seem okay. The only thing that's even comparable to the beauty of a woman's laugh is a child's laugh. A woman's smile can move mountains, stop time, brighten the darkness, stop rain, and fix problems.
In an attempt at reciprocation, I also questioned the men on my timeline about the nonsexual things that women do, that men find attractive. For those of you that do follow me on Twitter, you know that I'm trying to make 2014 all about positivity. In an attempt to feed into that, my goal was to create 11 things that women do, that men find attractive. After scouring, reading, and rereading all of the replies I got yesterday (which were in the hundreds, and continued into today), I have narrowed all of the answers down to the best and most popular 11.
Without further ado...
11 Things that Women Do That Men Find Attractive
11.) Concentrate: This ranged from watching a woman do homework/study to watching her put on makeup in the mirror. Watching a woman use her brain is endearing and sexy.
10.) Exercise: Knowing a woman not only cares about her personal appearance, but her overall health is important to men. We all know men are visual creatures. A woman going the extra mile to maintain her appearance definitely catches a man's attention. Also, it's fun to watch!
Work out. RT @kidnoble Fellas. What’s something that women do (non sexual), that you find attractive? #NobleQuest”
— Bonesaw McGraw (@LSE7ENZ) January 31, 2014
9.) Show Independence: Knowing a woman has her own life and isn't dependent upon a man is important to men. One reason is that it shows we won't be nagged for our time constantly. A woman who has her own also shows a man that she knows how to take care of her business!8.) Listen: As men, we aren't especially prone to talk about our personal feelings/thoughts on frequent occasion. Having a woman who knows when to listen to us without objecting or challenging is important. If we know you're listening, we're more likely to share. Listening also shows the woman has interest in not only what we have to say, but the things we take interest in.
7.) Get Dressed (Up): This is especially endearing because a part of us feels like you're going the extra mile to look good for us men. There's nothing like watching a woman go through each meticulous step getting dressed up to make sure she looks absolutely perfect and swoon-worthy.
Get dressed up. I love watching. RT @kidnoble: Fellas. What's something that women do (non sexual), that you find attractive? #NobleQuest
— Lord Nick (@Kingwole) January 30, 2014
6.) Having Ambition/Goals: Having ambition and goals let's a man know that he can grow with you. It let's him know that if he's in a relationship with you, it won't become stagnant because as a couple you'll always be striving for new heights. Knowing we can build with you is important.5.) Encourage & Support: For many men, this is number one. Men are expected to always exhibit strength and control. If there's one place we need to know we can be soft, it's with the woman in our lives. We're always expected to exhibit confidence to the world, so knowing we have someone in our corner who KNOWS we can do anything, and pushes us correctly to achieve is paramount.
“@kidnoble: Fellas. What's something that women do (non sexual), that you find attractive? #NobleQuest” speak encouraging words
— iBeast (@MisterRiley85) January 31, 2014
4.) Show a Sense of Humor: There's not many things more endearing than a woman who can find the humor in life/doesn't take things too seriously. Being able to share a nice hearty laugh can go a long way in endearing a man to a woman. Men can be playful. We need to know that you'll play along! Also, being able to dish those jokes back out gets you bonus points!3.) Read: As one tweeter said, there is nothing sexier than a woman with a book in her hand. Reading broadens your horizons, improves your spelling & grammar, informs, and teaches. Reading can be a show of intelligence, and it's definitely one that men notice.
appreciate a good book/music “@kidnoble: Fellas. What’s something that women do (non sexual), that you find attractive? #NobleQuest”
— En Sabah Nur (@HermesSocrates) January 31, 2014
2.) Cook: Yeah, I know it sounds cliche', but being able to cook stands out to us. This is especially true if it comes easy and naturally to you. Watching a woman move about a kitchen in her own world effortlessly preparing a meal with love is a beautiful thing. Knowing that you've put your love and time into satisfying a man with your food goes a long way. As the old adage says, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.and finally ...
1.) Laugh/Smile: This was by far the most offered response from the fellas on Twitter. Ladies, your smiles can light up a room, drastically improve a mood, and make everything in your man's world seem okay. The only thing that's even comparable to the beauty of a woman's laugh is a child's laugh. A woman's smile can move mountains, stop time, brighten the darkness, stop rain, and fix problems.
Smile so big that I can't help but smile“@kidnoble:Fellas.What's something that women do (nonsexual), that you find attractive? #NobleQuest”
— Sweet Jones (@iLLifeMike) January 31, 2014
So these were the top 11 things that women do that men find attractive. Fellas, are there any other things you'd add to this list? Ladies, did you learn anything new here? What are some endearing things your partner does? Feel free to leave comments below and let me know your thoughts!
Monday, January 20, 2014
The Polarization of Richard Sherman
It's no secret that I'm not a fan of the Seattle Seahawks, and by default, Richard Sherman.
Yesterday's events at the end of the NFC Championship are a microcosm of why I, personally, am not a fan of his. But allow me to step outside of my personal bias about his personality. It's been well documented, the thoughts of many on Sherman's antics after the game, whether watchers agreed or disagreed with it.
Here's my thing. I have no problem with flashy/flamboyant players. In fact, I LOVED watching Chad (Johnson) OchoCinco play the game. He had FUN. He was entertaining. But his having fun didn't take away from the product on the field. It didn't take away from the success of his team. It also didn't perpetuate the myth in America that black men are aggressive, angry, and intimidating.
Richard Sherman's tirade yesterday perpetuated that myth.
I used to hear a joke when I was younger that blacks are great at math, since we always have to multiply by two. We have to be twice as smart, twice as fast, twice as good in order to be seen equal with our counterparts. Sherman is twice as fast, and twice as good, but I hesitate to say he was really thinking about how his actions yesterday not only affected the public view of his team, and himself as a player, but how it perpetuates the myth that I stated above about black men. It wasn't smart.
I understand Sherman's background: he comes from Compton. He's VERY well educated. And he's an outstanding football player, one of the best in the league. I understand also the gravity of the situation: this game was for a ticket to the Super Bowl against a hated rival team. But when it comes down to it, you still have to think about how your personal actions affect others. On a nationally televised stage, Richard Sherman was an angry black man.
Although the Seahawks have been a top NFL team for two seasons now, I would venture to say that most in this country aren't knowledgeable about the team. This isn't Sherman's fault, it's the fault of the media. They focus on major sports arenas like New York, and major figures like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. After putting on a HELL of a show for the nation in an outstanding football game, fans aren't talking about how the Seattle Seahawks played. They're talking about Richard Sherman. A lot of America's first exposure to the Seattle Seahawks was an angry black man yelling at a female, white interviewer. What happened to the no one man is bigger than the team mantra?
Ironically, Richard Sherman is in a recent Beats By Dre campaign entitled "Hear What You Want To Hear." In the commercial, he turns the other cheek when a reporter asks him about being a thug. Instead of doing this in a commercial, he should follow the message in his commercial. Yes you made an amazing play. One that will be replayed for the next 10 years in NFL Playoff commercials. Let THAT be how fans remember you. Not yelling hysterically into the camera.
Sherman talks the talk, and backs that up by walking the walk. The issue is his talking usually ends up hurting the team. And as the old mantra says:
No one player is bigger than the team.
Yesterday's events at the end of the NFC Championship are a microcosm of why I, personally, am not a fan of his. But allow me to step outside of my personal bias about his personality. It's been well documented, the thoughts of many on Sherman's antics after the game, whether watchers agreed or disagreed with it.
Here's my thing. I have no problem with flashy/flamboyant players. In fact, I LOVED watching Chad (Johnson) OchoCinco play the game. He had FUN. He was entertaining. But his having fun didn't take away from the product on the field. It didn't take away from the success of his team. It also didn't perpetuate the myth in America that black men are aggressive, angry, and intimidating.
Richard Sherman's tirade yesterday perpetuated that myth.
I used to hear a joke when I was younger that blacks are great at math, since we always have to multiply by two. We have to be twice as smart, twice as fast, twice as good in order to be seen equal with our counterparts. Sherman is twice as fast, and twice as good, but I hesitate to say he was really thinking about how his actions yesterday not only affected the public view of his team, and himself as a player, but how it perpetuates the myth that I stated above about black men. It wasn't smart.
I understand Sherman's background: he comes from Compton. He's VERY well educated. And he's an outstanding football player, one of the best in the league. I understand also the gravity of the situation: this game was for a ticket to the Super Bowl against a hated rival team. But when it comes down to it, you still have to think about how your personal actions affect others. On a nationally televised stage, Richard Sherman was an angry black man.
Although the Seahawks have been a top NFL team for two seasons now, I would venture to say that most in this country aren't knowledgeable about the team. This isn't Sherman's fault, it's the fault of the media. They focus on major sports arenas like New York, and major figures like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. After putting on a HELL of a show for the nation in an outstanding football game, fans aren't talking about how the Seattle Seahawks played. They're talking about Richard Sherman. A lot of America's first exposure to the Seattle Seahawks was an angry black man yelling at a female, white interviewer. What happened to the no one man is bigger than the team mantra?
Ironically, Richard Sherman is in a recent Beats By Dre campaign entitled "Hear What You Want To Hear." In the commercial, he turns the other cheek when a reporter asks him about being a thug. Instead of doing this in a commercial, he should follow the message in his commercial. Yes you made an amazing play. One that will be replayed for the next 10 years in NFL Playoff commercials. Let THAT be how fans remember you. Not yelling hysterically into the camera.
Sherman talks the talk, and backs that up by walking the walk. The issue is his talking usually ends up hurting the team. And as the old mantra says:
No one player is bigger than the team.
Friday, January 10, 2014
My Love Letter to Black Women
I was recently tasked by a Twitter friend to write a love letter to black women. I've actually been putting off writing this because I wasn't sure exactly what to say. It's not that I have nothing to say, it's that so much comes to mind that it's kind of hard to sort it all out. There's so much TO BE said, but I don't want to drone on and on. So...here goes. Nothing long...
Dear BW,
You are the most amazing of God's creations to me. Daily I see examples of women exuding the purest form of many adjectives we assign to people: beauty, strength, power, resilience. To me, you are the walking example of how God intended for woman to be; you're a walking example of those adjectives.
It saddens me that the world doesn't see you the same. The world sees beauty as Jennifer Aniston. The world sees power as Hillary Clinton. The world paints the black woman as ugly, irate, angry, needy, and undesirable. What's even sadder, is not only when black men start to believe this of black women, but when black women start to believe this of themselves.
Iyanla Vanzant once said, "Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth."
It's up to all of us to reaffirm your awesomeness. To let you AND the world know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are incomparable. So this is my pledge to you. I pledge to tell you that you are beautiful when the world decides you aren't. I pledge to be your support when the world has tried to knock you down a notch. I pledge to be a voice when the world tries to silence yours. And I pledge to fight for and with you. And when I'm lucky enough to be blessed with one of you as a life partner? I pledge to never take that for granted. I firmly believe that nobody loves another like a black woman loves a black man.
"We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth."
Together, the possibilities are endless and infinite. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are powerful. You are resilient. You are a beautiful black woman.
Love,
~Noble
Dear BW,
You are the most amazing of God's creations to me. Daily I see examples of women exuding the purest form of many adjectives we assign to people: beauty, strength, power, resilience. To me, you are the walking example of how God intended for woman to be; you're a walking example of those adjectives.
It saddens me that the world doesn't see you the same. The world sees beauty as Jennifer Aniston. The world sees power as Hillary Clinton. The world paints the black woman as ugly, irate, angry, needy, and undesirable. What's even sadder, is not only when black men start to believe this of black women, but when black women start to believe this of themselves.
Iyanla Vanzant once said, "Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth."
It's up to all of us to reaffirm your awesomeness. To let you AND the world know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are incomparable. So this is my pledge to you. I pledge to tell you that you are beautiful when the world decides you aren't. I pledge to be your support when the world has tried to knock you down a notch. I pledge to be a voice when the world tries to silence yours. And I pledge to fight for and with you. And when I'm lucky enough to be blessed with one of you as a life partner? I pledge to never take that for granted. I firmly believe that nobody loves another like a black woman loves a black man.
"We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth."
Together, the possibilities are endless and infinite. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are powerful. You are resilient. You are a beautiful black woman.
Love,
~Noble
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Getting to Know You...
As I get older, I realize more and more, how trivial, monotonous and ... well ... tiring that dating is. It's easier to see as I age how people end up in relationships and married to people that they aren't completely happy with. It's simply because they've developed a comfort zone with them. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that I can see how it happens.
Anyway...
As we all know, there are stages when it comes to dating. What I'm here to talk about is the "Getting to know you" stage. It's a catch-22 for me. I love learning about people. I'm curious by nature and I love asking questions, learning about a person's history, what makes them who they are, etc. Hell, it's part of the reason I went into journalism in undergrad.
At the same time, it gets old. Each time you get to know someone, you're in some way developing feelings about that person along the way. When you've gotten to know someone deeper than surface level, but it doesn't work out, it feels like you've wasted time. That feeling of wasting time gets old.
For some, instead of wasting time, they'd rather stay to themselves.
As I grow older, I so look forward to falling in love, getting married, building a family, and a legacy. But each time I give my time to getting to know someone and it doesn't work out, I lose a little bit of patience, and the prospect of those things happening grows dimmer. I know I'm still young, and that's fine. Age isn't the issue. I suppose the issue is ... patience. It's wearing thin.
I still have hope though, every time I give my time to getting to know someone. And I still give my all because it's only right. I wouldn't want someone to give me less. But, the whole "getting to know you" thing is getting ...
... Old. Y'all be easy.
Anyway...
As we all know, there are stages when it comes to dating. What I'm here to talk about is the "Getting to know you" stage. It's a catch-22 for me. I love learning about people. I'm curious by nature and I love asking questions, learning about a person's history, what makes them who they are, etc. Hell, it's part of the reason I went into journalism in undergrad.
At the same time, it gets old. Each time you get to know someone, you're in some way developing feelings about that person along the way. When you've gotten to know someone deeper than surface level, but it doesn't work out, it feels like you've wasted time. That feeling of wasting time gets old.
For some, instead of wasting time, they'd rather stay to themselves.
As I grow older, I so look forward to falling in love, getting married, building a family, and a legacy. But each time I give my time to getting to know someone and it doesn't work out, I lose a little bit of patience, and the prospect of those things happening grows dimmer. I know I'm still young, and that's fine. Age isn't the issue. I suppose the issue is ... patience. It's wearing thin.
I still have hope though, every time I give my time to getting to know someone. And I still give my all because it's only right. I wouldn't want someone to give me less. But, the whole "getting to know you" thing is getting ...
... Old. Y'all be easy.
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