And I Couldn't Begin...

I couldn't begin to tell you...
How I felt when you looked at me.
And when you described your love my heart melted...
...like how the colors in the sunset melt together creating a beautiful picture. 

And I couldn't begin to tell you...
how that day you told me you couldn't wait to marry me,
You made me the happiest man on earth.
I fell in love with you over and over... with each blink of my eyes. 

I couldn't begin to tell you how when we made love... 

my world stopped revolving around the sun, but chose you instead.
How I lived a life fulfilled with every rising and going down of you. 

And I couldn't begin to tell you
how I wish that Daylight savings time would've happened every day.
Just so you could spring forward into my arms...
... and maybe I could fall back in love with you... 

See...

I couldn't begin to tell you

how I have wanted to erase the art we painted from every canvass in my world.
Go back to the blank slate that was my world before you.
And see... 

I couldn't begin to tell you...
How badly you hurt me. You were AIDS, cancer, arthritis, and broken bones...
All thrown into my mixed bag of emotions.

I couldn't begin to tell you...
How you broke me down like an old car on the side of the road.
Not even Triple-A could fix my heart.
Not when you towed every facet of you out of my life.

So see...I couldn't begin to tell you...
that no matter how much I loved you,
I wish we never painted a life together.
That we'd left our canvas blank,
devoid of any art of hearts to be put on display.

I still love you, but...
I couldn't begin to tell you.

Maturity

I had a chat with a good friend of mine today. I hadn't seen her in awhile, so it was really good to sit and chat with her.

At one point we got to talking about relationships and settling down. It was mentioned that a big part of loving someone properly and growing when in a relationship is maturity. The more I thought about it, the more that rung so true to me. In almost every facet of relationships/dating/etc., a certain level of maturity is needed if it's going to work successfully.

When I thought back on my past relationships and dating situations, I realized that a big part of why they failed was a lack of maturity on either my part or the other person's. One of the biggest areas that this comes into play is in communication. Communication, as we all know, is integral to a positive relationship. Maturity is integral to positive communication, especially when you're having problems.

If you're having an issue with your significant other or the person you're dating, knowing how to effectively communicate that issue with a certain level of maturity will help in getting over the issue. Even if everything results in arguing, there's a way to argue with a level of maturity. Name calling and saying things you don't really mean isn't maturity. Being able to agree to disagree, or even simply argue what the actual matter is instead of bringing up old stuff also requires a level of maturity.

Honestly, a big part of all of realizing all of this is knowing yourself and your faults. It doesn't stop, however, at identifying those faults. You have to do something to improve upon those faults. You always see people saying stuff like "If you can't deal with me at my worst..." and stuff like that. While that's true to a certain extent, you can't just always expect people to deal with you when you're "at your worst."You have to be mature enough to know you're "at your worst" and do something to change that.

Sorry if all this seems a little scatter brained. Y'all be easy.