What Is Love?

I haven't written in awhile, but I wanted to stop by and get some stuff out real quick that's been on my mind for awhile.

Simply stated: I'm confused on what falling in love is supposed to feel like anymore.

I've experienced the whirlwind, movie-like romances, and I've experienced the kind where we had to really work at it, and things didn't come so "easily."

It's funny because those whirlwind romances give you some inclination that that's what  it's supposed to be, and who doesn't want that? The scary part is that just how some of those whirlwind love connections came out of nowhere, some of them disappeared just as quickly. Could this be because the foundation of the relationship wasn't strong enough? Who knows.

Now the relationships where I had to really work at it seemed to last longer. But the whole idea of that comes across as...boring...sometimes. Loving someone and being in a relationship should come easy for the most part right?

Look, I know relationships period are hard work. It takes dedication..resiliency..etc. However, because I've experienced so many different types of relationships, and to this point none of them have worked out, I'm confused on what exactly it's supposed to feel like. And I don't wanna hear the "you know when you know" cliche' because I've thought I knew a couple times. Obviously I was wrong.

I guess you can add this to the heap of other things in my life that I'm confused about at the moment. I always thought growing up that as you got older, you figured out more about life ... that you got more answers. As I've grown through my twenties it seems like I'm only getting more questions.

Y'all be easy.