The Kid (yours truly) didn't really get crushed on when I was young. If you follow me on Twitter, you've seen me say that I have ugly duckling syndrome. I was a pretty nerdy little kid. I had a big head, huge feet, and kept my nose in a book. I was short, and I generally don't think I was that attractive.
As I've gotten older, I've grown more confident in myself and my looks. However, I don't think I'm anything special. I'm average height (medically) at 5'8. I'm not built, but I'm not fat/skinny, brown skinned, etc. I think I'm your average guy, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's a market for the average guy out there, but the average guy doesn't get crushed on. Thusly, I don't really know what that's like. I don't really get approached like that, and that's ok.
Anyway, moving on.
The comment was made that people don't crush now, how they used to. "People don't/can't crush the same way they used to as kids. Being accused of thirst or put on blast is real, so people are more stealthy with people they like until they know it's mutual," was one of the comments made.
I agree. People are so quick to accuse folks of thirst, that others get scared to "crush" on folks. We've become a society so enamored with exposing and embarrassing people, and that goes for online and offline. The fear of rejection is very real, and often deeply rooted. When there's a prospect of that rejection being thrown in your face, it's easy to understand how some would shy away from it.
When it comes down to it, there's a difference between crushing on someone and "thirst" in my opinion. Thirst, to me, is more physically based, and is when your expression of adulation becomes excessive. The misuse of thirst has been garnered from people exposing and embarrassing folks who simply showed interest or complimented them, when there wasn't mutual interest.
On the flip side of that coin, a lot of rejection and the form with which it comes depends on your approach. Personally, I can only speak from a male point of view. Sadly, the "one bad apple spoils the bunch" theme applies here. Many woman have had to deal with such disrespect and crassness from men approaching them, they instantly get defensive when approached. Ignorant men/approaches have conditioned many women to catch an attitude as soon as a man says, "Hello."
The responsibility to change that falls on the shoulders of men. Whether it's someone we're crushing on someone or not, we have to taylor our approaches better and with more respect. Most women are open to a man simply walking up and introducing themselves. If you can carry on a conversation and make her laugh, you'll be fine. The more men who create an atmosphere of respect when approaching women, the less likely we are to encounter women who are conditioned to be disrespectful in their response.
So don't be afraid to approach your "crush" if you are, indeed, crushing on someone. You never know what could happen.
Oh, and the Kid didn't turn out so bad. :-)
This is true. I still crush on men. I have a habit of remembering the small details like a man's favorite color, what he likes to eat, his hobbies, what he has said about his family, etc. Although some people think it's weird.
ReplyDeletewomen don't have the same experience with being open about their crushes. we grow up whispering to our girls, passing notes and being subtle (because good girls aren't up front about their wants).
ReplyDeletethis doesn't go away with time. and technology has made it easier and harder to be upfront about feelings.
i know i am more likely to flirt with a dude that i don't think is interested in me, than one that i really like. it's backwards..but alas.
oh and #heyboo at that last pic tho. wait..is that thirst? ;)